New trends are developing when it comes to separation strategies with kids. When a separation happens, it’s common for one parent to move into a new home or apartment that can accommodate both them and their children. However, in today’s economy, especially in regions with high living costs, this option isn’t always feasible. Nesting is a co-parenting arrangement used during separation where the children remain in the family home, and the parents take turns living there with them. Instead of the kids moving between two homes, it’s the parents who rotate in and out according to a set schedule.
Where the parents live in their “off-duty” time can vary. Some parents rent a small apartment that they alternate residing in as well. Others may get their own place or live with a family member or friend. This decision is often dependent on how contentious the relationship is and their financial situation.
The Pros of Nesting
- Stability for children: Nesting can provide consistency and minimize disruption in the kid’s lives—same house, same school, same neighborhood. This also reduces the emotional stress and logistical challenges for kids.
- Provides time for the family to adjust to the new reality of separation/divorce.
- May allow parents to delay major housing decisions during a transitional time.
- When not “on duty,” each parent lives in their own separate residence and can have more privacy in their personal lives.
The Cons of Nesting
- Can be emotionally difficult for parents who are still sharing the family home (though at different times).
- Logistically and financially complex—requires maintaining up to two or three living spaces.
- May blur boundaries and prolong emotional separation between ex-partners.
Getting support
Want to know more about how nesting could work for you? I have supported many clients as they consider what will work best for their family during the separation period. Contact me and let’s get started!
